


everything is just what it seems (or is it?)

by creativemycelium



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29313459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativemycelium/pseuds/creativemycelium
Summary: Chapter Warnings: Death of Maternal Figure mentioned, (non alcoholic) drinks and foods, dogs.Recurring Story Warnings: Symptoms of Anxiety, Symptoms of PTSD(?), Talk of Transitioning as a Trans Man.Summary: A young man who enjoys phone games to past the time has stayed up too late and, upon discovering the time, realizes he is also hungry. He makes a snack while yearning and visiting with the family’s dog.





	1. midnight snack

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Notes: I wanted to write something pretty loosely and kind of just for fun. I really like the story so far. This chapter’s theme song is Baby Shoes by Bad Books. Also, I’m new to this. Like, I’ve literally never written OC FanFiction or anything. Well, I’ve never shared anything like this before. The young man in this OC work is completely unnamed- perhaps suggest names in the comments. Weird how his dog has a name and he doesn’t, huh? 

Half sitting there, half laying, the young man was lost in thought while playing one of those ‘match the cards’ memory games. He had gotten pretty good at memorization, so much so that he was able to play his favorite levels without paying a lick of attention to his phone. 

His thoughts were abstract, much to his dismay. It wasn’t always like this, he thought, and the thought began and finished itself before he could properly think it out. This thought led him to begin half a dozen new ones- and then a dozen from that half- double that and so on. 

He ignored the most of them, because only a quarter of these thoughts could actually ever matter. And even then, absolutely zero of these thoughts would someone else get to hear.   
He realized he’d lost all his ‘lives’ in-game on his small device, and he pressed the off button on the top of his phone with a dissatisfying click. He didn’t enjoy that noise, he thought to himself as he yawned. 

Somehow, it was already three in the morning. He did not feel up to the task of getting comfy and sleeping. Not just yet. He sighed, which brought him to yawn once again as he stood. He shuffled his way into his family’s kitchen, passing by the family portraits with ghosting fingers against the wall.   
He lingered there for a moment or two in the hallway. He couldn’t help but think of his late mother. It came in images, smells, and a sudden heart wrenching feeling that had him trying to remember how to breathe. What was he in their kitchen for, again?

Oh. Right. 

He had wanted a drink.

The young man continued his way into the kitchen from the doorway, walking from his heels to his toes as to not make too much noise. He could not remember who or what had taught him this little trick, but he felt a pang of fear with the sound of shuffling coming from the corner. Was it an intruder-? … No, it was simply Bailey, the family dog. She was old, older than the young man wanted to admit. He made no noise, no vocalization as he crouched and motioned for her to come get scritches. He did not wish to wake anyone, still. 

She approached with sleepy eyes and a lolling tongue hanging half out her closed mouth. She tilted her head at him, tail wagging, head lowered and lapping at his fingers. He held in a giggle, letting her lick one hand while giving her head pats and ear scritches before standing. 

Turning the water on the lowest setting possible, he only barely let a steady stream come out the faucet. He needed to wash his hands- otherwise, he’d have one unsanitary peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

As he turned the water off and wiped his hands on the nearest clean towel, he thought to himself; ‘I want orange juice.’ And so, when he grabbed the mixed berry jelly (which looked like blackberry jam but tasted like strawberries to him), he grabbed a juice box of orange juice. 

He carefully peeled the white plastic straw away from the juice box, and then carefully peeled away the clear wrapper surrounding the bendy straw. He then pushed the sharpened end into the juice box top, and took a long sip before finally going into the pantry to retrieve the slightly staled white bread and crunchy peanut butter. 

The young man was methodical with his sandwich, but forgot to get something to lay it on. He simply laid the two pieces of bread- one a heel and the other a regular slice- on the countertop. He then spread the peanut butter on the heel, and the jelly onto the regular slice. He realized, with his first bite of the sandwich, he’d gotten crumbs everywhere. That just wouldn’t do. 

Just like he’d forgotten to get a plate or at least a paper towel, he’d forgotten Bailey was there until she pushed her cold snout against the back of his knee. He jumped. The young man sighed and had an idea; Feed the crumbs to Bailey. The crumbs were a bit small, though, so he took a piece of his crust (with peanut butter, of course, because Bailey was like any other dog and loved peanut butter) and he scooped the crumbs into his hand with the crust and put it into Bailey’s food bowl. It had some kibble in it already, which meant she’d (hopefully) get the other food that was actually designed for her.

With that, he made his way to bed. He finished his sandwich outside his bedroom, standing in the doorway, because he did not wish to clean up crumbs in the middle of his sleepy time. He slurped down the rest of his orange juice and left the box on his nightstand. As he got ready to sleep, he thought about brushing his teeth. It was a fleeting thought, you see- simply because he knew he wouldn’t actually do it. He climbed into bed after taking off all but his sports bra and boxers. 

Snuggled up with his extra pillows, he drifted into sleep and into thought until both had combined and he was dreaming.


	2. 'Did You Know?: A Group of Penguins in the Water is Called a Raft but on Land, They're Called a Waddle.'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Food, Talk of Gender and Body Dysphoria, Mentions of Deceased Maternal Figure, Implied Mention of Child Abuse 
> 
> Story warnings: Transitioning as a Trans Man, Symptoms of Anxiety, Symptoms of PTSD.
> 
> Emanuel talks to their partner about their bad habits relating to dysphoria. Whilst doing so, they somewhat accidentally mention the other's mother, which causes him to have a sort of anxiety attack. The young man is comforted by his partner, who then offers to make lunch while he takes the dog for a walk. They then settle in on the couch together and watch a children's penguin and arctic animal documentary- one of his favorites.

‘You really shouldn’t sleep in those,’ Emanuel told him.

‘Whuh? In what?’ The young man responded, shirtless and wearing baggy sweatpants.

‘Your sports bras.’ Emanuel explained, sighing and pinching the bridge of their nose.

‘My wh- oh. Oh, no, I think it’s okay. It’s better than—’ He was cut off by his partner.

‘—Sleeping with a binder on? Everyone knows that, love.’

‘… It helps.’

‘It won’t help if you damage something by never relaxing and truly resting, you know.’

‘But the dysphoria—’

Emanuel didn’t have to look at his lover to know the other was frowning with another mouthful of frosted cereal.

‘Have you tried crop tops instead?’

No response except for the crunching of food in a mouth that was only partially closed while chewing.

‘I’m serious, love.’

To this, the young man sighed, and stopped shoveling food in his mouth as an excuse to not talk.

‘I don’t own any, and I don’t want to ruin any shirts… Besides, don’t you think it’ll look bad?’

‘Why would it look bad??’ Emanuel questioned this man’s logic every day of their lives together.

‘Because I’m- I’m chubby,’ he began to explain, ‘and I don’t think anyone will like it…’ He mumbled the last part, but Emanuel heard him loud and clear.

‘Love,’ they started, ‘No one is going to see your tummy except for, I don’t know, you, me, and G-d— But no one else needs to see it if it makes you uncomfortable.’

He nodded, listening, and munching.

‘You don’t have to wear them out the house- what are you worried about? I mean, she’s not even here anyways—’

She? He thought to himself. His mother-? He froze, his whole body seeming to tense up while the other continued talking. He honestly didn’t hear it at all. What did they mean by that? Sure, his mom had been… judgmental, at times, but it was all for the best— right??

‘Hey— Love?’ Emanuel began to sense they’d made a kind of mistake. ‘Love, it’s alright.’

He was snapped out of it all- his thoughts and feelings- when Emanuel reached out to touch his shoulder. He shrunk away into the chair, and Emanuel stopped. He sighed. He didn’t want to be touched right then. He stood and grabbed his now empty bowl of cereal, heading to the sink.

‘I’m sorry… I just meant that you’re safe now, and it’s okay.’

Emanuel did sound truly apologetic…

‘I forgive you…’ The young man mumbled as he washed out all the frosted cereal bits stuck to the insides of the bowl.

‘Okay. …Do you want to do anything today?’

‘Mm,’ He shrugged with his indecipherable hum. ‘I want.. to watch a movie.’

Emanuel smiled before saying, ‘What kind? Like, what genre?’

‘Nothing horror,’ he paused as he turned to look at them. ‘Maybe... Maybe something soft- like something for kids.’

‘Okay.’

‘Something about animals, maybe?’

‘You want to watch a kid’s nature documentary again?’ Emanuel smiled. They were so in love with him. It was also a genuine question- they knew he liked those kinds of things. It was easier to absorb, too, for some reason. Other adults expected far too much, they thought to theirself as the other talked.

‘Yes,’ he started, paused, and looked to the ceiling as he gave it some thought, before continuing, ‘maybe we can learn about penguins.’

‘Again?’ Emanuel chuckled.

‘…Yes. …After we take Bailey for a walk.. and get lunch ready…’

Emanuel couldn’t help but let a goofy smile be brought to their face. ‘I’ll get the chips and the sandwiches ready, alright?’ It was the other’s favorite go-to meal. Sandwiches were just easy.

He nodded, calling to Bailey as he made his way to the closet where they stored their dog’s things. Bailey had been napping, and with a boof, she stood and made her way over to him. Emanuel was already in the pantry when he and Bailey left for their walk around the house. He clipped her leash into place- not that she really needed it- and let her lead the way.

She sniffed the ground occasionally and did her thing. He shoved his hands in his pockets, staring up at the sky. They were in their own yard, so it did seem silly to have her on a leash, but the fence wasn’t the sturdiest, and Bailey was good at digging. Thankfully, she did not dig, but not so fortunately, she began to chase a squirrel.

‘Woah—’ He was surprised as he was pulled forward, the leash connecting them from his hand to her collar. He caught himself just in time to not fall forward and faceplant into the dirt. Ew, he thought about the mud and grass and getting dirty. ‘Ew…’ He mumbled as Bailey barked up a tree.

‘C’mon, girl,’ He sighed, walking to her, and giving her a gentle pat on the head. ‘Let’s go in.’ He smiled as she listened. Bailey trotted her way inside, and much to his dismay, he was not given a chance to clean her feet.

‘Bailey girl, c’mere!’ He called from where he knelt at the doorway. As she did so, he praised her and told her to ‘lift.’ She gave him her front left paw, and he took it into his hand to clean it with the baby wipes they kept by the door. He repeated these steps three more times until she was unable to track anymore germs into the house.

‘Oh, there you are!’ Emanuel said as the other made his way to the couch. ‘We only had plain ruffleds,’ he explained as he set the bowl of chips down on the table.

‘That’s okay.’ He smiled, happy to be with his love and to learn about penguins. He guarded the chips until Emanuel came back with the sandwiches. They had made a whole platter of mini-sandwiches it seemed—two of each flavor they could muster with the ingredients they had. With an extra regular sized pb-and-j just for him. He only knew it was for him because Emanuel did not like peanut butter- at least, they did not enjoy the crunchy kind.

He hummed a happy tune as the other turned their tv on and sat down besides him on their dark purple (and somewhat maroon) couch. He looked at the food, the other, and the tv, before looking back at Emanuel.

He loved him.

He wanted to say it, but words were a little hard sometimes… He reached out and took the other’s free hand into his own, mouthing the phrase.

Emanuel smiled back at him, their flipping through the channels momentarily paused as they said it back.

‘I love you so much, you know.’

‘I know.’

And with that, the two of them- and Bailey, if you thought dogs could enjoy such a show- began watching his favorite documentary on penguins for the thirty-fourth-or-so time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! : ] He still doesn't have a name, feel free to comment suggestions you feel fit him. Also, Emanuel is a transmasculine person who uses primarily they/them, because binary pronouns give them dysphoria. They've been with our unnamed protagonist for 2-3 years ish dating, and they've been friends since middle school. Emanuel, from an outsider's perspective, does not like or appreciate the way their partner's mother used to treat him.


End file.
